...second thoughts

So I'm not sure if I'm really going to change my page or not. Stay tuned to the Ball Family (kandtball.blogspot.com) until further notice. It's a lot of work to change over! I think I'd rather make improvements to the existing page for now.

"Journal Entry: March 3rd, 2008"

So I haven't done much blogging in quite awhile. I check my email every morning before I run, but that's pretty much the extent of my computer time.

Things here are going well and happy for our little family. Tyler had had strep 3 times and had 2 other illnesses since Christmas, so he is getting his tonsils out tomorrow in an effort to end the sickness. Every time he gets sick, Trev or I get it, too. So, hopefully! this will take care of or at least lessen the illnesses.

Trever is enjoying work at Weber and researching for his thesis. I love watching him thrive on learning and the things he is involved in. He's the most intensely focused person I've ever met and witnessed at work. I'm truly amazed by his zeal!!

And I'm still working at Flying J. But, I am truly treasuring motherhood more and more each day. Not having another child at this time in my life is making me much more grateful and careful about being Tyler's Mom right Now. It is easier for me to come home from a day of work and be his Mom because I just love him so much. I have discovered the 2 keys to my happiness (which equals my family's happiness, too!:)) in the past couple months: 1-daily scripture reading and sincere, listening prayer have helped me s-l-o-w down and think about things. I make better decisions (and actually make decisions), am able to think more clearly and am able to think about my family more than myself. Trever gave me a blessing about a month ago because I just couldn't "do everything" anymore. In the blessing I was told to take time for Prayer and to listen in my prayers. This has been key in my change and "ability" to handle it all. The 2nd key to my personal happiness has been running every morning. (I love my treadmill and am sooo glad I don't have to go somewhere or go outside to run!!) That's "my time". I'm finally able to handle interruptions now, too, which is because I have been more at peace and relaxed in my life/mind. Though I am training for a couple half marathons, running has truly become a deep part of Me. It's taught me about taking care of ME so I have energy and desire to take care of my precious family.

I hope all is well for you who read this. :)

Love,
Katy

"Watch my nose breeve, Mom."

It has been a month since Tyler's Tonsillectomy/Adenoidectomy (technical terms, I know!). He is doing great! It took just over 2 weeks for his throat to finally heal. He had a running nose for only a couple days. And now he is a new boy! He loves to breathe through his nose. For the first time in his short life he can breathe clearly and doesn't constantly have a runny nose. And we can't even hear him sleeping. Mmmm. That is true peace! :) He eats more, has more energy (I think because of all the oxygen getting to his little body) and seems to be growing taller every day. I am so glad the surgery was an available option because of the results we have seen. (I do recommend to anyone considering the option to have insurance to help pay for it. It's quite pricey! There went our tax refund and then some.... But, perfect timing and WELL worth it.)

Working at J (Flying J) has been a challenge recently. It is such a money-driven workplace that people can be a challenge to work with. And it's not usually a particularly uplifting place to be. It has been a daily effort to stick to my own business and not be bothered by my surroundings or people I work with. Thank goodness for Trever who helps keep me in line. And there again, for scriptures/prayer to sort of distract me from the worldliness of the place. I have found great comfort and peace in surrounding myself with things (ie pictures) of my precious little family in order to help keep my focus on why I am working and what I am working for. It also helps to know I will not be working there for ever. Maybe another year and a half or two, but not for life. If it weren't for the pay, I would definitely be somewhere else! It has always been my dream to be a nurse. And since the premature birth of Ty, a NICU nurse. So, someday when our child(ren) is (or are) grown and I need something else to do with my time and energy, that is what I hope to do. I open to anything at this point. And dreams help get through challenges. Of course, my main dream (that seems more like a reality because I know it will happen someday) is to be home with my child and hopefully be up to the task of raising more than one. Right now, it is all I can do to raise one.

Today was a tough day. Tyler hasn't slept well all week. I attribute that to our evening activities of watching a movie to unwind and then going straight to bed. I think he needs a different activity to unwind. (Such as riding his bike all over the apt., or playing outside in the sand and dirt.) So this morning, I had thoughts such as, "I can't be Super-Mom anymore!" "I can't work, run/take care of myself, clean, cook AND attend to Tyler's needs of attention!" As the day went on and Trev and I spent lunch hour together, things came back into perspective. All things are possible with God. The things I am involved in are for the benefit and health of my little family. I work to provide food and essentials for my family. I run to keep my head in line and body healthy. I clean to aid in mind clarity and a home conducive to the teachings of the Spirit. I cook because I enjoy providing healthy meals for my family's health. And, of course, I tend to Tyler's needs of attention because there is so little time to be with him at this time in my life. And that really is simple to do. All he needs is a playmate. "I love you when you play Legos, Mom," he said to me tonight. Needless to say, we played Legos, shoveled the sand, walked around in the backyard, played on the swings, explored under the gigantic trees in the yard and crawled around like a lion all evening. And he is actually sleeping in his own bed at the moment!! (We'll see how long that lasts....)

My life has been full of thought as I have tried to "attribute" my feelings, mood swings and behaviors in an effort to make things better and easier to handle. I'm truly grateful and very often humbled by the Spirit in aiding my efforts. My world isn't about "Me". It's about my family.