Running = Brain space free-er = Happy, balanced Katy

Journal entry: Tuesday, March 24, 2009

May I share a little about my morning and thoughts? Thanks. :) I feel very selfish talking about myself all the time. But, hopefully I can grow out of that and be more concerned with more important issues.

I got to go running for the third time in four days. It's such a deep experience for me. A smile was bursting from my soul the whole time this morning. I just couldn't not smile. Good thing I was running in the dark. :) Running = Brainspace Free-er = Happy, balanced Katy. And, I love to listen to music. It's like my true release. U2, Martina McBride, Chris LeDoux, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, are among my faves. About three weeks into this semester, I decided not to run my two half marathons this year. I just couldn't balance everything. I sincerely hope I'll even pass my classes. But, a couple weeks after I made that decision (to not run the halfs this year), I realized how let down and sad I was because of that decision. It wasn't just that I wasn't running the races. It was more than that. I've been working on goals to better myself and running has been such an essential part of my changes made, that to even consider omitting it from my lifestyle leaves me, well, speechless. I just can't quit. So, yesterday I re-decided to run one of my half marathons this year. And, it's in August, so I have time to make up for only running once a week for the past fourish weeks. I mailed my registration in yesterday. And, wow. What peace. Interesting to me, too. Such a simple thing as running a race that has meant so much more to me than just a race has given me the little bit of kick-in-the-butt that I need to keep doing everything I'm involved in right now. I feel selfish. But, at the same time, I am human and I can only do the best I can. The Atonement makes up for the rest, the stuff I can't do. And, in this time of my life where I'm not completely serving God only, I have to take care of myself. That means I have to run.

By the way, "core strengthening" means doing exercises that specifically strengthen the core of my body - the abs, lower back. So I do crunches on an exercise ball and leg lifts as part of my exercise routine.

A few pix

scattered thoughts

Yesterday when we came home from a couple days in Logan, I found a cup half full of a blue pastey substance. Trying to figure out what it was, I noticed the almost empty can of Gatorade powder sitting close by. Tyler had found a cup half full of water and tried to make himself some Gatorade like Trever and I do. Apparently he had tasted it because the substance had dried in a line leading to the lip of the cup. I love finding signs of Tyler's existence around our home.

It is now 11 days to race day. Hmmm. I'm not as physically prepared as I had hoped I would be. But, I learned a valuable lesson in the process of training. My main even is the Top of Utah Half in August. So, this the Ogden half marathon will serve as a bench mark and sort of beginning of training for the "big race" in August.

Last week we went on vacation to Moab. Each day or time away from work being with Tyler and Trever I am brought back down to earth and remember the importance of my family. And I am reminded of the blessings I have being associated with both of them.

Trever has been applying and interviewing for a few jobs in the area. He is such a dedicated and focused individual. I'm daily inspired and edified by him.

For Christmas, my Mom gave me a book about finding my strengths. While we were in Moab, I read as far as I could before taking an online quiz to discover my top 5 strengths. It was very rewarding to discover my strengths and to realize how much damage focusing on my weaknesses has done to Me. I am looking forward to "taking action" to maximize my strengths. I have learned a person has so much to offer the world (okay, or those around them) simply by focusing there energies on the aspects of life they are good at.

This weekend as Trever and I spent some time with our parents, our eyes were opened to how incredible each of our parents is. We realized we don't give them the credit and respect they truly deserve and therefore crave. I am filled with a deep desire to let them know of their worth.

...second thoughts

So I'm not sure if I'm really going to change my page or not. Stay tuned to the Ball Family (kandtball.blogspot.com) until further notice. It's a lot of work to change over! I think I'd rather make improvements to the existing page for now.

"Journal Entry: March 3rd, 2008"

So I haven't done much blogging in quite awhile. I check my email every morning before I run, but that's pretty much the extent of my computer time.

Things here are going well and happy for our little family. Tyler had had strep 3 times and had 2 other illnesses since Christmas, so he is getting his tonsils out tomorrow in an effort to end the sickness. Every time he gets sick, Trev or I get it, too. So, hopefully! this will take care of or at least lessen the illnesses.

Trever is enjoying work at Weber and researching for his thesis. I love watching him thrive on learning and the things he is involved in. He's the most intensely focused person I've ever met and witnessed at work. I'm truly amazed by his zeal!!

And I'm still working at Flying J. But, I am truly treasuring motherhood more and more each day. Not having another child at this time in my life is making me much more grateful and careful about being Tyler's Mom right Now. It is easier for me to come home from a day of work and be his Mom because I just love him so much. I have discovered the 2 keys to my happiness (which equals my family's happiness, too!:)) in the past couple months: 1-daily scripture reading and sincere, listening prayer have helped me s-l-o-w down and think about things. I make better decisions (and actually make decisions), am able to think more clearly and am able to think about my family more than myself. Trever gave me a blessing about a month ago because I just couldn't "do everything" anymore. In the blessing I was told to take time for Prayer and to listen in my prayers. This has been key in my change and "ability" to handle it all. The 2nd key to my personal happiness has been running every morning. (I love my treadmill and am sooo glad I don't have to go somewhere or go outside to run!!) That's "my time". I'm finally able to handle interruptions now, too, which is because I have been more at peace and relaxed in my life/mind. Though I am training for a couple half marathons, running has truly become a deep part of Me. It's taught me about taking care of ME so I have energy and desire to take care of my precious family.

I hope all is well for you who read this. :)

Love,
Katy

"Watch my nose breeve, Mom."

It has been a month since Tyler's Tonsillectomy/Adenoidectomy (technical terms, I know!). He is doing great! It took just over 2 weeks for his throat to finally heal. He had a running nose for only a couple days. And now he is a new boy! He loves to breathe through his nose. For the first time in his short life he can breathe clearly and doesn't constantly have a runny nose. And we can't even hear him sleeping. Mmmm. That is true peace! :) He eats more, has more energy (I think because of all the oxygen getting to his little body) and seems to be growing taller every day. I am so glad the surgery was an available option because of the results we have seen. (I do recommend to anyone considering the option to have insurance to help pay for it. It's quite pricey! There went our tax refund and then some.... But, perfect timing and WELL worth it.)

Working at J (Flying J) has been a challenge recently. It is such a money-driven workplace that people can be a challenge to work with. And it's not usually a particularly uplifting place to be. It has been a daily effort to stick to my own business and not be bothered by my surroundings or people I work with. Thank goodness for Trever who helps keep me in line. And there again, for scriptures/prayer to sort of distract me from the worldliness of the place. I have found great comfort and peace in surrounding myself with things (ie pictures) of my precious little family in order to help keep my focus on why I am working and what I am working for. It also helps to know I will not be working there for ever. Maybe another year and a half or two, but not for life. If it weren't for the pay, I would definitely be somewhere else! It has always been my dream to be a nurse. And since the premature birth of Ty, a NICU nurse. So, someday when our child(ren) is (or are) grown and I need something else to do with my time and energy, that is what I hope to do. I open to anything at this point. And dreams help get through challenges. Of course, my main dream (that seems more like a reality because I know it will happen someday) is to be home with my child and hopefully be up to the task of raising more than one. Right now, it is all I can do to raise one.

Today was a tough day. Tyler hasn't slept well all week. I attribute that to our evening activities of watching a movie to unwind and then going straight to bed. I think he needs a different activity to unwind. (Such as riding his bike all over the apt., or playing outside in the sand and dirt.) So this morning, I had thoughts such as, "I can't be Super-Mom anymore!" "I can't work, run/take care of myself, clean, cook AND attend to Tyler's needs of attention!" As the day went on and Trev and I spent lunch hour together, things came back into perspective. All things are possible with God. The things I am involved in are for the benefit and health of my little family. I work to provide food and essentials for my family. I run to keep my head in line and body healthy. I clean to aid in mind clarity and a home conducive to the teachings of the Spirit. I cook because I enjoy providing healthy meals for my family's health. And, of course, I tend to Tyler's needs of attention because there is so little time to be with him at this time in my life. And that really is simple to do. All he needs is a playmate. "I love you when you play Legos, Mom," he said to me tonight. Needless to say, we played Legos, shoveled the sand, walked around in the backyard, played on the swings, explored under the gigantic trees in the yard and crawled around like a lion all evening. And he is actually sleeping in his own bed at the moment!! (We'll see how long that lasts....)

My life has been full of thought as I have tried to "attribute" my feelings, mood swings and behaviors in an effort to make things better and easier to handle. I'm truly grateful and very often humbled by the Spirit in aiding my efforts. My world isn't about "Me". It's about my family.

My new blogspot

I've decided to change my blogspot address. Happy reading! :)